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| The Before |
Friday, December 14, 2012
Before picturess
Monday, October 15, 2012
Emotional Wellness - Managing the Stress update
So as most of you know, I'm been working hard at managing my stress level. It started with decreasing my work hours. I'm now averaging between 35 and 42 hours/week now. I've also dedicated myself to structuring my hours. Most employees have a set time they have to be at the office. I don't - and since my office is at home, you might think that's ideal scenario, but it's very hard to "close the door" on work when the office is open 24/7. So better managing my time has proven to be VERY helpful in decreasing my stress.
Another major thing I'm doing is giving myself weekends back. This has proven to be a great success. I'm working with My Sailor to create a schedule that will give me something to look forward to. His hours being so unpredictable makes it very challenging for us to set aside time together, so feeling like I'm always scrambling leaves me feeling exhausted and stressed. So this ties into the first thing I'm doing - making a schedule I can stick to.
One GREAT stress reliever was doing the Extreme Mud Run together. It was a great experience! We started "Together" but he beat me by a good margin. But that didn't matter. I was happy to face something I'd never done before and prove (to myself most of all) that I could do it! Click here to see my personal blog about the event.
And of course, getting my Zumba on really helps! Making healthier decisions as far as my eating goes always makes me feel less stressed, so I'm managing my time better on the food prep front. I still don't do a whole weeks worth of food at a time, but having only healthy options around is a great start. For the rest of the week, I'm replacing lunch w/ a protein shake and a salad. I just make sure to make enough salad for 2 meals each time I make a salad and voila! Easier dinners than ever! :)
What are you doing to de-stress yourself?
Another major thing I'm doing is giving myself weekends back. This has proven to be a great success. I'm working with My Sailor to create a schedule that will give me something to look forward to. His hours being so unpredictable makes it very challenging for us to set aside time together, so feeling like I'm always scrambling leaves me feeling exhausted and stressed. So this ties into the first thing I'm doing - making a schedule I can stick to.
One GREAT stress reliever was doing the Extreme Mud Run together. It was a great experience! We started "Together" but he beat me by a good margin. But that didn't matter. I was happy to face something I'd never done before and prove (to myself most of all) that I could do it! Click here to see my personal blog about the event.
And of course, getting my Zumba on really helps! Making healthier decisions as far as my eating goes always makes me feel less stressed, so I'm managing my time better on the food prep front. I still don't do a whole weeks worth of food at a time, but having only healthy options around is a great start. For the rest of the week, I'm replacing lunch w/ a protein shake and a salad. I just make sure to make enough salad for 2 meals each time I make a salad and voila! Easier dinners than ever! :)
What are you doing to de-stress yourself?
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Thursday, August 30, 2012
All the Wellness Wrapped Up - My Latest Doctor's Appointment
Today I found a new GP (General Practioner). I feel really good about this guy and it's only about 15 minutes away, which is awesome.
We talked about all the symptoms I've had for the last week which include a range of things from hot flashes, sleeplessness, upset stomach, high blood pressure (not dangerously high, but still higher than it should be), early pregnancy symptoms (no, I'm not pregnant), to the most bothersome- REALLY annoying, unrelenting shoulder pain.
Basically, we came to the conclusion that... I'm a stress case.
Surprised? I was. Sort of.
Not that I don't have a lot in my life to be stressed about. Like everyone else, there is no shortage of things for me to stress out about. I don't FEEL like I'm at my limit, but my body is letting me know that 1 hour of Zumba is not enough stress release for me.
So for the next month, I'm going to do bi-weekly posts focused on different ways to relieve stress, from bubble bathes to every-day doable stuff we all can work into our lives.
Hope you enjoy this wellness journey as much as I am going to!
We talked about all the symptoms I've had for the last week which include a range of things from hot flashes, sleeplessness, upset stomach, high blood pressure (not dangerously high, but still higher than it should be), early pregnancy symptoms (no, I'm not pregnant), to the most bothersome- REALLY annoying, unrelenting shoulder pain.
Basically, we came to the conclusion that... I'm a stress case.
Surprised? I was. Sort of.
Not that I don't have a lot in my life to be stressed about. Like everyone else, there is no shortage of things for me to stress out about. I don't FEEL like I'm at my limit, but my body is letting me know that 1 hour of Zumba is not enough stress release for me.
So for the next month, I'm going to do bi-weekly posts focused on different ways to relieve stress, from bubble bathes to every-day doable stuff we all can work into our lives.
Hope you enjoy this wellness journey as much as I am going to!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Emotional Wellness - A few words for the Broken Hearted
Lately, about a handful of my friends and aquintances are seperating, breaking up, and going through divorces.
Now, I'm a big fan of marriage. It's been good too me, even though this is my 2nd time around the block. I learned SO MUCH from my first marriage that I couldn't be more grateful for the experience. But that relationship played out as it was ment to - not to be forever, but to be a learning experience.
But that said, I'm NOT a fan of Divorce, but I do see it as a sometimes-necessary-evil. Everyone has their deal breakers (addiction w/o help, abuse physical or otherwise, infidelity, etc). That goes for me too.
When folks get married, I imagine that they come to the alter the same why I did - with every confidence that this is forever. No one (I hope) PLANS on getting a divorce while they are standing there. Even when divorce really is the BEST option for all involved, it's a very difficult process - emotionally speaking.
I remember feeling devastated. I spent a few days taking refuge at my parent's house just so I wasn't alone. A few days into it (and with some wise counsel from my mom), I realized that my problems weren't just going to go away if I hid under the covers. I had to face going back to the place my ex and I lived and sleeping alone, managing the bills alone, and getting through the every day stuff w/ no one around at the end of the night.
On some level, I felt instantly relieved that what had become a stressful relationship was over. But that didn't mean I didn't dissolve into tears out of the blue nearly every day for a few weeks.
I also remember feeling terribly guilty from time to time. Sometimes it was because I knew I wasn't the perfect wife. But then again, who is perfect?
I strongly remembered feeling ashamed. That was the worst part. Divorce, even in the best of cases, makes one doubt ones' self. After all, there are ALWAYS warning signs that a relationship is toxic (and I used 'toxic' because 'wounded' doesn't warrant divorce - that warrant's therapy). In re-reading some of my old journals, all the signs were CLEARLY there and I chose to overlook them at the time. It took a good deal of time to learn to accept that I'd made the best choices I felt I could have in that moment and let go of the shame. Yes, I hadn't picked the best match. Yes, I said "I Do" in front of the world. And now, well, "we don't". While that was hard to accept, I realized that the more I reached out for support - the more I found it. Lonely became less scary because I had friends and family (and a rockin' therapist). The shame was soon overwhelmed by the outpouring of love every time I reached out, and the overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the wonderful souls that had touched my life.
That doesn't mean it didn't hurt. For a long time it was like a bruise that would occasionally get "poked" by something. But ya know what?
What growth DOESN'T hurt?
Through the help of my amazing therapist, I learned several things that have helped me build a much stronger foundation in my relationships since then. Here's what I slowly came to realize after a year of counseling.
The only person's happiness that I can control is MY OWN.
There is rarely one party to "blame" during a divorce or break up. No one is perfect. My biggest flaw, looking back on it, was that I expected marriage to make me happy.
See, the magic of happiness works the other way around actually. I learned that when I'm happy and secure within myself, I can share that (and it tends to rub off on people), so it's worth taking the steps I need to take to make myself deeply content. I also learned that, while it's a blessing to make other people happy, if I rely on others to provide a response to make me happy - I could very well be waiting forever.
I learned that the beauty in saying, "I love you" is saying it because it's honestly how you feel, not because you "should" say it or you're fishing for/expecting a response in kind. The kind of "I love you's" that just need to be expressed are truly the most beautiful, no matter if it's returned or not.
Also learned that it's very possible to love something that isn't good for us. For example, how many people love cigars or fast food? They won't do us any favors, but it's hard to break those toxic relationship bonds.
I learned that, when I trust myself to make wise decisions, it's effortless to trust my partner. It's bred a much more relaxed relationship dynamic that I adore.
Being the type of partner I'd like to have in my life has worked out well for me. Now, not every relationship since my divorce has lead to marriage. Obviously I'm expecting this one to last forever. But every relationship has been too beautiful of a learning experience for me to regret a moment of any of them, even though they had to run their course.
Sure, getting divorced physically felt like cutting off my arm. It was a painful process, even though ours was very legally simple and generally trouble-free aside from splitting some debts.
I was scared to death those first few days.
But I learned that (emotionally speaking) arms grow back - and even stronger later in life.
Whatever storm seems like the end of the road now, if I could give those folks considering it any piece of advice (especially those with kids) it would be this - Do what you need to do in your life to make you whole. If after that, you don't feel like you can work on the marriage, then you've really done all you can do. The upside is, you'll be stable and you'll be able to impart stability in your family even after the huge change that divorce can be.
The downside? It'll still hurt, and our natural inclination is to avoid pain, right? Yup. But the difference between being alone and flying solo is all in your perspective.
(I'm also a big fan of getting personal therapy. It can really help sort out our issues and when 2 individuals fix themselves, they can come together as an even stronger team!)
What are some of the lessons you've learned from the growing pain that is heartache?
Now, I'm a big fan of marriage. It's been good too me, even though this is my 2nd time around the block. I learned SO MUCH from my first marriage that I couldn't be more grateful for the experience. But that relationship played out as it was ment to - not to be forever, but to be a learning experience.
But that said, I'm NOT a fan of Divorce, but I do see it as a sometimes-necessary-evil. Everyone has their deal breakers (addiction w/o help, abuse physical or otherwise, infidelity, etc). That goes for me too.
When folks get married, I imagine that they come to the alter the same why I did - with every confidence that this is forever. No one (I hope) PLANS on getting a divorce while they are standing there. Even when divorce really is the BEST option for all involved, it's a very difficult process - emotionally speaking.
I remember feeling devastated. I spent a few days taking refuge at my parent's house just so I wasn't alone. A few days into it (and with some wise counsel from my mom), I realized that my problems weren't just going to go away if I hid under the covers. I had to face going back to the place my ex and I lived and sleeping alone, managing the bills alone, and getting through the every day stuff w/ no one around at the end of the night.
On some level, I felt instantly relieved that what had become a stressful relationship was over. But that didn't mean I didn't dissolve into tears out of the blue nearly every day for a few weeks.
I also remember feeling terribly guilty from time to time. Sometimes it was because I knew I wasn't the perfect wife. But then again, who is perfect?
I strongly remembered feeling ashamed. That was the worst part. Divorce, even in the best of cases, makes one doubt ones' self. After all, there are ALWAYS warning signs that a relationship is toxic (and I used 'toxic' because 'wounded' doesn't warrant divorce - that warrant's therapy). In re-reading some of my old journals, all the signs were CLEARLY there and I chose to overlook them at the time. It took a good deal of time to learn to accept that I'd made the best choices I felt I could have in that moment and let go of the shame. Yes, I hadn't picked the best match. Yes, I said "I Do" in front of the world. And now, well, "we don't". While that was hard to accept, I realized that the more I reached out for support - the more I found it. Lonely became less scary because I had friends and family (and a rockin' therapist). The shame was soon overwhelmed by the outpouring of love every time I reached out, and the overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the wonderful souls that had touched my life.
That doesn't mean it didn't hurt. For a long time it was like a bruise that would occasionally get "poked" by something. But ya know what?
What growth DOESN'T hurt?
Through the help of my amazing therapist, I learned several things that have helped me build a much stronger foundation in my relationships since then. Here's what I slowly came to realize after a year of counseling.
The only person's happiness that I can control is MY OWN.
There is rarely one party to "blame" during a divorce or break up. No one is perfect. My biggest flaw, looking back on it, was that I expected marriage to make me happy.
See, the magic of happiness works the other way around actually. I learned that when I'm happy and secure within myself, I can share that (and it tends to rub off on people), so it's worth taking the steps I need to take to make myself deeply content. I also learned that, while it's a blessing to make other people happy, if I rely on others to provide a response to make me happy - I could very well be waiting forever.
I learned that the beauty in saying, "I love you" is saying it because it's honestly how you feel, not because you "should" say it or you're fishing for/expecting a response in kind. The kind of "I love you's" that just need to be expressed are truly the most beautiful, no matter if it's returned or not.
Also learned that it's very possible to love something that isn't good for us. For example, how many people love cigars or fast food? They won't do us any favors, but it's hard to break those toxic relationship bonds.
I learned that, when I trust myself to make wise decisions, it's effortless to trust my partner. It's bred a much more relaxed relationship dynamic that I adore.
Being the type of partner I'd like to have in my life has worked out well for me. Now, not every relationship since my divorce has lead to marriage. Obviously I'm expecting this one to last forever. But every relationship has been too beautiful of a learning experience for me to regret a moment of any of them, even though they had to run their course.
Sure, getting divorced physically felt like cutting off my arm. It was a painful process, even though ours was very legally simple and generally trouble-free aside from splitting some debts.
I was scared to death those first few days.
But I learned that (emotionally speaking) arms grow back - and even stronger later in life.
Whatever storm seems like the end of the road now, if I could give those folks considering it any piece of advice (especially those with kids) it would be this - Do what you need to do in your life to make you whole. If after that, you don't feel like you can work on the marriage, then you've really done all you can do. The upside is, you'll be stable and you'll be able to impart stability in your family even after the huge change that divorce can be.
The downside? It'll still hurt, and our natural inclination is to avoid pain, right? Yup. But the difference between being alone and flying solo is all in your perspective.
(I'm also a big fan of getting personal therapy. It can really help sort out our issues and when 2 individuals fix themselves, they can come together as an even stronger team!)
What are some of the lessons you've learned from the growing pain that is heartache?
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Physical + Emotional Wellness - Gracefull Opting Out
We're going on vacation! Let's eat!
Thanksgiving! Let's stuff ourselves until we pass out!
Christmas! Gotta try every cookie and sweet drink!
Valentine's Day! Chocolates for your sweet heart!
The weather's turning colder. Comfort food!
It's my birthday! Bring on the cake!
It's a wedding! Let's eat!
A friend is in town! Let's go out to lunch!
Let's go to a movie! We'll get popcorn, and candy, and soda...
The list goes on and on and on. At least once a month there is a "special event" that offers lots of tempting treats.
But when feasting first came along, it was a RARITY. - a couple times a year at best.
Recently, I was invited to the movies on a whim. I was happy to get out of the house and go, but I opted out of the feasting. No snacks for me. I drank a quick protein shake (Jillian Micheal's brand - delicious) and headed out. I sipped on a little bit of coke zero from My Sailor, but other than that, I opted out. He was even kind enough to surprise me with Red Vines - a favorite movie treat of mine. I thanked him, and slipped the unopened box into my purse.
That was a few days ago. The Red Vines? They've migrated from my purse to the pantry, and remain unopened.
Yesterday, My Sailor announced that our roommate was buying pizza. Great! I opted out. Why? Because I already had healthy dinner plans. Grilled chicken and salad. The boys enjoyed the pizza, and I ended up trading out my Grilled Chicken for a Lean Cuisine French Bread pizza, which had a MUCH lower fat content and was far more filling than a piece of delivery pizza.
That didn't mean I didn't enjoy the movie. I enjoyed it a lot! In fact, it was better because I wasn't focused on the food at my fingertips. I was focused on the film and the great company.
It's not always easy to do what's right for your body in social situations. "Feasting" is part of our culture and people often feel that those who don't engage in over-indulgence are "isolating" themselves, but that couldn't be further from the truth.
The way I see it, each of us has a finite amount of energy every day. For those of us who have struggled with weight loss and over eating, we think about food a LOT more than someone who has a healthy relationship with food.
So- what if we took all that time and energy we put into stressing out over food - and focused on our company? What if our checklist turned into something like:
1) Do what it takes to make the best choices for ourselves.
2) Do what it takes to treat others in a healthy fashion.
So just how do you stay social AND get healthy?
Pick some other activities that aren't related to food - like inviting a friend on a walk-and-talk. It's a great way to bond and, pick the right trail, it could be really fun! Can't do that? Why not invite a friend over to watch a movie at home and air pop some popcorn to enjoy. Or just go out to a meal and lead by example - order something good for your body, just like the company is good for the soul!
It's never easy to say "no thanks" to something that is popular that your body doesn't need, but it pays off. (This week, it's paying off by me being down THREE pounds! That's 7 pounds in 2 weeks!) But isn't that what change is all about? Doing something different to achieve a different result?
Understand that not everyone will be able to get on-board with your decisions. Relationships in my life that centered around food have had to find new footing, or become more distant.
But there is nothing more empowering than helping friends and family live longer., have more energy to share, and to be at their best.
Don't be afraid to do your own thing. Those that truly love you will come around. And who knows! You might make some new friends on the process!
As an example, most of the people I know up here in the PNW know that I drink A LOT of water. And I mean A LOT. I bought a 6 pack of bottles 12 oz and was completely through them in about 2-3 hours. When I'm in a show, a gallon jug of water is pretty much glued to my hip. It's become something my theater friends and I laugh about. But if we're laughing about it, we're talking about it, so it opens up a discussion of health benefits that isn't "preachy" or riddled with judgement. Instead, it gives me time to share how it works well for me. (In fact, I'm finding drinking a gallon or more every day really helps with the weight loss!)
You never know - you might just inspire someone else!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
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